Homework Battles

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Esmé seems to have a major issue with completing her homework every day.  If you read our facebook statuses, you’d think she gets mountains of it.  In reality, she just manages to stretch it out ad infinitum. 

And it bugs me a little, because I don’t see her getting much benefit from it and there are many things I’d rather be doing with her, but I’m trying to be supportive of her teachers and all and enforce this work ethic thing… 

So I try to look at the humorous side of things.  Hence this random assortment of facebook posts for your reading pleasure…

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Esmé is supposed to be doing her homework. Instead, she is telling me in great detail about the robot she is going to invent that is a mind reader and can hold a pencil and do her homework for her. Trying to convince her that it would be easier to just do her homework.

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After Christmas break: So, Esmé is struggling to get back to the school schedule. Last night, after not getting to watch a movie because homework wasn't done, Miss Esmé made me a special sash to wear: "A girl's worst nightmare."

After seeing my reaction, she backpeddled a bit - explaining that a nightmare is a bad thing, so to be the worst of a bad thing is actually a compliment. Do I let her off the hook?

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Life as a short-order cook for a 6yo...

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Every evening I have to drag my kicking-screaming child away from a learning activity like this to do her homework. I am leaning further and further towards unschooling. Anyone willing to push me over the edge? Or pull me back to center?

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Day after MLK holiday:  Today's anti-homework protest by Miss Esmé: "You're like the white guy, and I'm like the black guy. And you're forcing me to give up my seat on the bus."

Sigh...

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Esmé's homework-avoidance tactics tonight included creating her own piano book. Her first written composition is catchy the way she plays it, though the end needs a bit of work. Any piano teachers in Roseburg up to handling this kid?

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Second day into my latest homework strategy, and it is not working. As an incentive, I read a chapter of a book after each page of homework she completes. But Miss Esmé simply grabs the book and reads the whole thing herself, instead of doing the next page of homework. At one book per page of homework, she's never going to finish. Gotta come up with a new incentive.

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Esmé's been listening to The Boxcar Children audiobooks today, and she's still in her pajamas, face blackened with candle soot, a fort of blankets & scarves in her bedroom, eating peanut butter and honey straight from the jars. All signs of a motherless child?

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It's the simple things that make her happy. Or is it?

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This is the book Esmé read three chapters of yesterday (instead of doing homework). Loving it! http://www.amazon.com/Adam-Eve-Family-Bible-Story/dp/0828018502

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A question on Esmé's *easy* math homework: Continue the pattern: 105, 100, 115, 120, ____, ____, ____
Can't blame Common Core for that one.

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She decided to do the Ivory soap microwave experiment during one of her many breaks. But she used Coast instead of Ivory, and the house smells toxic now. Open windows everywhere... All in the name of science.

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It is 10pm and 6yo Esmé is in bed listening to Ezekiel on CD. I'm not sure what to think of myself as a parent.

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Posted by a friend:

Photo Credit: Susan Messina

My comment:  I can tell you how the science fair project would go with my 6yo. I'd tell her about the requirements and give her a few ideas for projects. She'd reject all my ideas and decide to prove mermaids are real for her project. I'd try to divert her, suggesting she do something on dolphins and echolocation or something else vaguely related to mermaids. I'd check out lots of books and websites, she'd quickly lose interest, I'd use all sorts of "motivational" tactics to "help" her come up with a bare-bones project, doing as much of it myself as I could ethically do while still calling it "her" project. Two months later, while she's supposed to be doing her math homework, I'd catch her writing a comprehensive illustrated book on using echolocation to discover merpeople, and 10 years from now, she will actually discover one. The end.

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And just some random Esmé-isms:

"It's hard to think when I'm admiring myself."

Working on Holy Land history. I ask Esmé, "What's another name for Megiddo?" Her prompt response, "Armadillo!" I think we need a little more work on this chapter...