S is for Snuggle

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Dear Miss Esmé,

You are a snuggler.

I LOVE LOVE that about you.  One of my favorite times of the day is when you’ve just woken up – not really ready to be awake, but not wanting to miss anything – and you snuggle contentedly, stretching and rubbing sleep out of your eyes, ignoring the loud ticking of the clock as D-Hour approaches. 

I wish I could ignore it, too.  Alas, that moment where dilly-dallying-contentedness meets panicking-rush-to-get-out-the-door-with-basic-essentials-like-keys-and-phone-and-shoes arrives all too soon.

And then there’s this little bedtime game we play:  “How many kisses do you want tonight?”  And we always get more than we ask for.  “And two extra!” you exclaim, clinging onto our necks as we try to escape the room so you can get at least a little shuteye before the next day rushes in.

Time.  Time seems to be the enemy, even as you rush eagerly to your next birthday, asking every day, “Am I five and a half yet?”

There’s a song you love to dance to, creating your own ballet moves and spins on the slippery kitchen floor.  It’s been one of your favorites since you were itty bitty.  And in honor of Father’s Day, and the desire to squeeze in as much snuggling as I can before you grow up all the way, here it is for you now:

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you
There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
~ Steven Curtis Chapman lyrics

I love you, my amazing, beautiful, clever, dilly-dallying, energized, following, grace-filled, hidden, indomitable, Jericho-miracle, kidlet, loved, mirroring, named, one-of-a-kind, poor, quicksilvery, ransomed, snuggling baby girl!

Your Mom

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Each birthday, I write a letter to my baby girl.  This year, the year of the amazing 5-year-mark, I’ll be working from A to Z.