Not Me! Monday

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I did NOT decide the big potty had an owwie.  It's not like I want any excuses to use my pink baby princess potty or anything.

I did NOT name my hobby
horsepony "Bordello."  Where would I have heard such a word?

And I most certainly would not have cooked breakfast all by myself.  After all, I am a princess.  And princesses do not DO such things.  (If I HAD cooked breakfast, I certainly would never make a mess.)

Because, after all, I am banned from the kitchen.  Not that I would ever snitch cookie dough or anything while working in the kitchen.  So why would I be banned from the kitchen?

Oh me, oh my...  these Not Me's are starting to get me confused.  I can't keep them straight anymore.

I can do ANYTHING.  After all, I am a teeny tiny baby unicorn princess.