Y is for Youth

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Dear Miss Esmé,

 

You are youth.

 

I’ve found lots of quotes to use for this letter.

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.” ~ Stacia Tauscher

Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right. Proverbs 20:11

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. ~ 1 Timothy 4:12

Let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them, for of such is the kingdom of heaven.  ~Matthew 19:14

But none of these strike a chord with me, none echo the whispers of my heart.

Oh, nothing wrong with them.  Lots right with them.  Youth are important to God.  Youth can do great things for Him.  In fact, of such is the kingdom.

I ask you what you consider “young.”

“Anyone 39 and under,” you say.  Stinker!  You know I just turned 40.  Thank you very much!

I guess what makes this the hardest letter for me is that youth is fleeting.  One day, God willing, you’ll turn 40, and you’ll have a white moustache and beard that’s not made from flour no longer be young, and then what?

Oh, we talk about how youth is an attitude, and you can be forever young.  But I guarantee it – one day, maybe even before you turn 40, you will be bone-achingly weary.  Struggling even to breathe, to take the next step, and keep taking the next step. 

Sometimes you’ll bring it on yourself, taking on too much.  Other times it’ll seem like life keeps throwing obstacles at you, and you can’t see any way out, any light at the end of the tunnel.

And then I run across this verse.  And finally I can relate:

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

~Isaiah 40:30-31

Ahh – now I have some wisdom to pass on in my ripe old age!

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ~Matthew 11:29

Note that it doesn’t say rest for your body.  Or even rest for your mind.  It says “rest for your souls.”  You may have periods of craziness where even those Sabbaths of rest are filled to the brim, and there seems no way off the spinning merry-go-round of life.  And God says, even though your life keeps whizzing around with no sign of stopping, and you can’t even blink for the arrows rushing at you, your soul can rest.  Because He is enough.

My soul finds rest in God alone, my Rock and my salvation,
a fortress strong against my foes, and I will not be shaken.
Though lips may bless and hearts may curse, and lies like arrows pierce me,
I’ll fix my heart on righteousness, I’ll look to Him who hears me.

Ill set my gaze on God alone, and trust in Him completely;
with every day pour out my soul, and He will prove His mercy.
Though life is but a fleeting breath, a sigh too brief to measure,
My King has crushed the curse of death and I am His forever.

O praise Him, hallelujah, My Delight and my Reward;
Everlasting, never failing, My Redeemer, my God.

~Aaron Keyes lyrics

I love you, my amazing, beautiful, clever, dilly-dallying, energized, following, grace-filled, hidden, indomitable, Jericho-miracle, kidlet, loved, mirroring, named, one-of-a-kind, poor, quicksilvery, ransomed, snuggling, tough, useful, vibrant, worthy, eXtraordinary, youthful baby girl!

 

Your Mom

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Each birthday, I write a letter to my baby girl.  This year, the year of the amazing 56-year-mark, I’ll be working from A to Z.

 

X is for eXtra

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Dear Miss Esmé,

 

You are eXtra.

 

eXtra persistent.  eXtra intense.  eXtra sensitive.  eXtra imaginative.  eXtra creative.  eXtra focused.  eXtra distracted.  eXtra insistent.  eXtra determined.  eXtra fussy.  eXtra sweet.

 

eXtra-ordinary.

 

I was reading up on writing tips the other day, and one was that a good humorist relays a situation most people can relate to, simply exaggerating the details.  With you, I don’t have to exaggerate.  You make me smile!

 

When I try to garner sympathy for the challenges in parenting you, I hear, “All parents have to deal with those challenges.”  And I get it.  It’s not different, just extra.

 

 

You see the vast universe and the tiniest ant and tie it all together.  You think long. You think hard. You think big.

 

And here’s the really cool thing.  God exceeds your “extra-ness.” Your ideas can’t even begin to compare with His plan for your life.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those who love him--

~ 1 Corinthians 2:9

I love you, my amazing, beautiful, clever, dilly-dallying, energized, following, grace-filled, hidden, indomitable, Jericho-miracle, kidlet, loved, mirroring, named, one-of-a-kind, poor, quicksilvery, ransomed, snuggling, tough, useful, vibrant, worthy, eXtraordinary baby girl!

 

Your Mom

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Each birthday, I write a letter to my baby girl.  This year, the year of the amazing 56-year-mark, I’ll be working from A to Z.

 

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Enter to win Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking by Vivian Kirkfield.

W is for Worthy

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Dear Miss Esmé,

 

You are wretched worthy.

 

You’ve been reading a picture book of hymns.  You tell me one of your favorites is “Amazing Grace,” and you’ve got it memorized.  I smile as you sing and mix up a few lines.

 

You started out just fine.  “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.”

 

Wretch, huh?  Sweet little six-year-old you? :)

 

We’ve had a lot of discussions lately about God’s seeming contradictions.  How you will lose your life if you save it, but save your life if you lose it for His sake.  And so on.

 

This is another complicated one.  Complicated by all the moral lessons we adults try to teach you about “heroes of the faith” and biblical “role models.”  Yes, we want you to be good, kind, pure, honest, helpful, sharing.

 

But not because you want to be worthy of our love.  Of God’s love.  Simply because you are already loved.

 

God created you for an incredible purpose.  He is pursuing you at all cost, exactly as you are.  Just relax and let yourself be found by Him.

 

The more you strive to be worthy, the more wretched you are.  It’s when you realize your wretchedness that you are most worthy, most useful to God, ready for your finest hour.

The king of contradictions strikes again
You said the last to cross the finish line will win
And the beggars will be millionaires someday
And the humble ones are gonna have their say

Well all my friends are gone now
And all my money's gone now
And all my pride is gone now
And if what you say is true now
This will be my finest hour

Well everything is opposite down here
The strong survive and the rest just disappear
But your philosophy is more unique
You say I'll be stronger when I'm weak
This will be my finest hour

~ Matthew West lyrics

I love you, my amazing, beautiful, clever, dilly-dallying, energized, following, grace-filled, hidden, indomitable, Jericho-miracle, kidlet, loved, mirroring, named, one-of-a-kind, poor, quicksilvery, ransomed, snuggling, tough, useful, vibrant, worthy baby girl!

 

Your Mom

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Each birthday, I write a letter to my baby girl.  This year, the year of the amazing 56-year-mark, I’ll be working from A to Z.

 

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Enter to win Show Me How! Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Reading, Crafting and Cooking by Vivian Kirkfield.

V is for Vibrant

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Dear Miss Esmé,

 

You are vibrant.

 

Pulsing or throbbing with energy, activity, life, vigor.

 

Such a positive-sounding word.

 

Much better than, “I get tired just looking at you,” which is also true.

 

Only you can take a simple event like eating a snack of grapes and turn it into a chipmunk dramatization of immense proportions.

 

 

Only you can go around the world two times (both literally and metaphorically) on your way from the living room to the bathroom to brush your teeth.  And then to the moon and back before you make it to bed.

 

Only you debate with the wildlife trainers on whether a porcupine might not have quills, and then “create” a whole elaborate porcupine species of your own that doesn’t have quills.  When all they wanted you to do is paste your paper quills onto your paper porcupine craft and go with the flow.

 

Nothing gets you down for more than a moment, little girl.  You keep moving and creating and breathing life into everything around you, making even the inanimate objects bounce and spin.  A pattern of your own Creator.

The energy of happiness is vibrant. Let in the excitement life wants to bring you. It's all here! Waken and feel joy.

~Ritu Ghatourey

I love you, my amazing, beautiful, clever, dilly-dallying, energized, following, grace-filled, hidden, indomitable, Jericho-miracle, kidlet, loved, mirroring, named, one-of-a-kind, poor, quicksilvery, ransomed, snuggling, tough, useful, vibrant baby girl!

 

Your dizzy Mom

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Each birthday, I write a letter to my baby girl.  This year, the year of the amazing 56-year-mark, I’ll be working from A to Z.

 

Filling the Gap: Time

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“Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” -- Robert Fulghum

There are so many issues I struggle with that I wish my daughter could avoid somehow. Back in June, I started a series of letters to fill the gap. Things I want my two-year-old to know that she won’t pick up by watching me…

Here's letter #2, long overdue thanks to everything I've been trying to cram into my schedule. It's about time, my FEAR of time, and it's being entered into Scribbit's October Write Away contest on the topic of FEAR.

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Dear Esmé,

I am not a fearful person, I don't think. I like heights, I'm fascinated with snakes, and I still want to skydive some day. Even goblin masks and pumpkin guts don't scare me. But I fear one significant thing.

I fear the passing of time.

I used to anticipate time. Back when age was measured in halves. Back when I loved spring because summer vacation was coming soon, and I loved autumn because school was starting again. I eagerly anticipated the next thing, the next step, the next adventure.

Somewhere in my twenties, that changed. Now I hold tightly onto each moment, fearing its slip from my grasp. I try to pack as much into the day as possible, creating ridiculous 19-hour-a-day schedules that put me behind before I even begin. It leaves me stressed, hating interruptions and begrudging the gift of my time to others.

Oh, I know the importance of quality time with yourself and your family. So I schedule it in. Play with your child. Kiss your husband. Call a friend. Take a photograph. Write in your gratitude journal. Pamper yourself. It's all on the calendar - in 15-minute increments.

And the clock keeps ticking, faster than ever. I fear my time with you being cut short, and I try to cram in even more. The harder I grasp, the faster it squeezes through my fingers.

I watch you, little girl. You're eagerly growing up, anticipating the next privileges and the next heights. You stand on your tiptoes, straining to see over the fence to the other side.

And a part of me wants to hold you back. Because then time might stand still.

Last week you asked the age-old question for the first time: "Are we almost there yet?" We were just seven minutes into the 30-minute trip to daycare, and you didn't accept any of my answers - for the rest of the trip.

It made me think about how tough time is to understand. A 30-minute car ride can feel interminable. And an entire childhood can pass in the blink of an eye.

Like you, I keep badgering God about the length of the journey when I have NO comprehension of what time really is. It's my prayer that I'll get to spend an eternity with you. So I should stop stressing about the moments we share right now.

Don't fear the future, baby girl. Anticipate it. Because you can't begin to imagine all that God has in store for you. Keep reaching and striving and growing.

But stop and snuggle with me every now and then, too. Let's treasure time for the gift it is, rather than wish it away or fear its passing.

Here's loving you all the time, my growing little one...
Mommy

Birthday Letter

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My Dearest Esmé,

It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since you splashed into our world! It was two agonizingly long weeks after we expected you to arrive, but though you may have been slow off the mark, you lost no time in catching up and exceeding all our expectations. You continue to amaze us every day!

It’s been a year to savor. We’ve been applauding each new milestone and accomplishment, but I’ve been secretly wishing time would slow down so I could enjoy each moment longer.

Happy Girl. When your first smiles popped out at 6 days old, even I was skeptical. All the books said it must be gas, since babies don’t smile until at least 6 weeks . . . But it quickly became evident that you were a smiler from the start, interacting and brightening the lives of everyone around you. You learned very early that when you smile at the world, the world smiles back. Even when you were suffering at your worst with allergies, it didn’t take much to get that smile to come out.

Friendly Girl. Never shy, you're usually the first to reach out, the first to smile, the first to be a friend. I love watching you engage those around you, both babies and adults, as you try to find out more about them. You pass them your toys and your food, excited to see their reaction, then quickly take it all back. We shall have to work on that!

Inquisitive Girl. You are constantly trying to figure out how things work. It’s not enough to stand on the skateboard – you want to watch the wheels move and figure out what the screws are for. Instead of smiling for the camera, you reach for it to check out the parts and see what it does. At times your inquisitiveness seems to conflict with our desire to keep you safe, but don’t let us squelch your desire to learn.

Confident Girl. You traveled halfway around the world to Mozambique at 6 weeks old without a fuss. You love doing new stunts with your Daddy, trusting him completely. At three months, you were standing upright on his hands. At nine months you were standing on the skateboard by yourself as it moved. He introduced you to the water, and you bravely took on the surfboard and boogie board with no worries. When you fall, you get back up – no cries or fussing.

Beautiful Girl. I remember staring at you in the hospital and thinking you had such incredible, long, dark eyelashes. They are still beautiful, framing your big baby blue-gray eyes. You have a perfect little nose and mouth, perfect little ears, perfect fingers and toes. And when your brilliant smile comes on, all those perfect parts meld into the most beautiful girl in the world.

Happy birthday, Esmé. May you continue to increase in wisdom, in stature, and in favor with God and man.

I love you, my little sunshine girl.

Your Mommy

Soap Day

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Mommy saw that my face was dirty after breakfast, so she decided that the theme today would be "Soap."

So today I learned that soap tastes really good, especially the Johnsons Bedtime Baby Soap.

I learned that it doesn’t always make good bubbles when you mix it with water and blow with your bubble blower. But it does usually foam up in the water, and that is fun to play with.

I learned that it is slippery when I poured my bucket of soap water on the floor and then did a split.

I learned that three of its letters have holes in the middle which make them fun to grab and play with. "O" is my favorite since it has the biggest hole.

I learned that you should sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" when you wash your hands to make sure you wash them long enough.

I also learned that soap comes in handy when you’ve been an artist and colored all the walls and your face, too.